Parents Resource Guide

FOR PARENTS AND OTHER CARERS

We hope these pages will help parents and other people who have responsibility for children and teenagers with a drug problem. In this section, you can learn more about drug misuse among adolescents and young adults, and the role that you can play in preventing or stopping drug misuse in your home.

If you are a parent or any adult who knows a young person with a drug problem, please follow the links on this site for advice and help.

Introduction

What is a drug?

It's something that changes the way you think or feel. But not all drugs lead to problems. It depends on who is using it and how it's used. Many people drink alcohol without becoming dependent - others can't control their drinking. It's the same for heroin - some people use it for years without causing themselves harm. But for many, many others it often causes misery and sometimes death.

Many teenagers experiment with drugs for a short time and then stop. They haven't become "addicted". And for many young people, cannabis is just as acceptable as legal drugs, like alcohol and tobacco.

But drugs can be dangerous and can lead to physical and mental damage and even death.

Using any drug can lead to dependency. When this happens, young people stop concentrating on their studies or work, and they seem to stop caring about the people they love. They may also turn to crime. And drugs are a source of conflict between generations. We hope this guide will help you understand what drugs mean to young people.

How many people use drugs?

In May this year, statistics from the AADK revealed that out of 10,473 cases recorded from January to March 2005, 46 per cent were new addicts and the remaining 54 per cent were relapse cases.? Following this trend, the number of drug users in the country, currently at around 250,000 could reach half a million by 2015, which is the year that the government has vowed to make Malaysia drug free.

How easy is it to get drugs?

Most young people get drugs from their friends and even members of their families. And most "pushers" are young people themselves.

Why do young people use drugs?

Being a teenager and raising a teenager are individually, and collectively, enormous challenges. For many teens, illicit substance use and abuse become part of the landscape of their teenage years. Although most adolescents who use drugs do not progress to become drug abusers, or drug addicts in adulthood, drug use in adolescence is a very risky proposition. Even small
degrees of substance abuse (for example, alcohol, marijuana, and inhalants) can have negative consequences. Typically, school and relationships, notably family relationships, are among the life areas that are most influenced by drug use and abuse.

One of the most telling signs of a teen's increasing involvement with drugs is when drug use becomes part of the teen's daily life. Preoccupation with drugs can crowd out previously important activities, and the manner in which the teen views him or her self may change in unrealistic and inaccurate directions. Friendship groups may change, sometimes dramatically, and relationships with family members can become more distant or conflictual. Further bad signs include more frequent use or use of greater amounts of a certain drug, or use of more dangerous drugs, such as cocaine, amphetamines, or heroin. Persistent patterns of drug use in adolescence are a sign that problems in that teen's environment exist and need to be addressed immediately.

What causes adolescent substance abuse?

There is no single cause of adolescent drug problems. Drug abuse develops over time; it does not start as full-blown abuse or addiction. There are different pathways or routes to the development of a teen's drug problems.

Some of the factors that may place teens at risk for developing drug problems include:

• insufficient parental supervision and monitoring
• lack of communication and interaction between parents and kids
• poorly defined and poorly communicated rules and expectations against drug
  use
• inconsistent and excessively severe discipline
• family conflict
• favorable parental attitudes toward adolescent alcohol and drug use, and
• parental alcoholism or drug use

It is important to also pay attention to individual risk factors. These include:

• high sensation seeking
• impulsiveness
• psychological distress
• difficulty maintaining emotional stability
• perceptions of extensive use by peers
• perceived low harmfulness to use

How do you know when to seek help?

The earlier one seeks help for their teen's behavioral or drug problems, the better. How is a parent to know if their teen is experimenting with or moving more deeply into the drug culture? Above all, a parent must be a good and careful observer, particularly of the little details that make up a teen's life. Overall signs of dramatic change in appearance, friends, or physical health may be signs of trouble. If a parent believes his or her child may be drinking or using drugs, here are some things to watch for:

• Physical evidence of drugs and drug paraphernalia
• Behavior problems and poor grades in school
• Emotional distancing, isolation, depression, or fatigue
• Change in friendships or extreme influence by peers
• Hostility, irritability, or change in level of cooperation around the house
• Lying or increased evasiveness about after school or weekend whereabouts
• Decrease in interest in personal appearance
• Physical changes such as bloodshot eyes, runny nose, frequent sore throats,
• rapid weight loss
• Changes in mood, eating, or sleeping patterns
• Dizziness and memory problems

Communicating With Young People

Communication is vital. And talking to teenagers can be difficult. They can appear not to listen and give more attention to what their friends are saying. They can become secretive, withdrawn and hostile.

Don't forget, they're growing up and trying to make their own decisions in life. They might be frightened and they may blame you! Don't worry. It's all normal, but it doesn't make communication easy.

So what can you do to make talking easier?

What you DO is much more important than anything you SAY. This basically means setting a good example.

If you drink alcohol, let them see you drinking moderately. If you sometimes get drunk, don't be ashamed to discuss it with them and explain what you do to keep yourself safe.

If you smoke cigarettes, try to give up when most children are in their anti-smoking phase - before the age of 12. And get them to help you.

Whether you like it or not, you are a role model to your child. If you feel good about yourself and look after yourself, your child with learn valuable lessons.

Set clear limits

Ask yourself these questions. What do you approve of?.what do you disapprove of?what is allowed in your home?

It's important your child knows the answers to these questions. So tell them and be prepared to make a fuss about it and take action if your limits are broken.

Setting limits can be done: "I don't mind you drinking a bit of alcohol, but if you come home drunk you won't be allowed to go out to parties".

The following are strategies that may help parents prevent or address teen drug use:

• Families matter. Realize that the parent-adolescent relationship is a critical ingredient in preventing and addressing teen drug use (even after drug use has begun).
• Adopt a developmental perspective about drug use. Think about why kids do what they do. Teens say they use drugs for different reasons: relieve boredom, feel good, forget troubles, relax, take risks, ease pain, feel grown-up, demonstrate independence, belong to a particular group, look hip, etc.
• Give clear no-use messages about smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Communicate your family values about this in direct and indirect ways.
• Teach your child at an early stage how to respect and love his or her body; nurture your child's self-worth
• Express love and concern as the basis of your expectations about no-use
• Help your teen address and deal with peer influence and pressure to use
  substances.
• Get involved-become familiar with your teen's friends and their parents.
• Talk to other parents, particularly parents of the teen's friends.
• Supervise teen activities.
• Encourage healthy activities. Help teens find alternatives to just hanging out. After school activities and sports protect against drug experimentation.
• Increase awareness of and monitor the teen's whereabouts.
• Take every opportunity to build relationships with the teen. Small talk isn't really small; it can sustain critical connections with a teenager.
• Spend time with the teen. Family activities and dinners together are important.
• Set a good example. Be honest about your own experiences with drugs and alcohol, but be firm in your insistence that no drug or alcohol use is allowed.
• Notice the way you talk to your teen. Make your comments appropriate to the teenager's age. Resist the urge to threaten or badger. Above all, elicit and listen to what the teen has to say throughout the day and whenever you are in contact.
• Seek resources and information from friends, school, church, social groups, or and medical professionals and social workers: You are not alone.
• Remember that even after drug use has begun, parents and families can still
  affect their teen's behavior and persuade them to stop using drugs.
• Also remember that there are new treatments for adolescent drug problems that have been shown to be effective.